Conflicting Family Survival Preparedness Views
January 7, 2012, Submitted by: Ken Tweet
Guest post: by ‘Be informed’
As society becomes more polarized, so does the family unit. One issue that unfortunately is dividing families is the issue of survival and preparedness. While the main objective of any family should be what is best for everyone, some of the time there are huge ranges of deep and strong opinions that different family members feel about what is exactly best. As the media continues to poison people’s thoughts with the notion that self preparation and long term survival readiness is not necessary and only for the paranoid, rifts develop inside the family between those that want to be ready for what they feel is coming and those that feel preparation is a waste of time and money (or who also may believe that it is best to depend on the government to handle it if anything should ever happen). There is actually much passion on both sides of the argument which divides family members, and the family cohesion or bond between them.
You as a prepper or survivalist or whatever title you wish to go by, naturally feel that you and your family MUST be ready for what could happen or what you feel is inevitable. Your conviction is a driving force that helps to build up survival supplies and keeps the survival instinct strong and on going. Unfortunately, those in the family and around you may not share in your enthusiasm and could be quite opposed to the idea of prepping. Family fights develop over whom can persuade and overpower the other over whom is “right”. The paramount goal here is the survival of the family and not the disbanding of it before anyone even gets the chance to survive the next disaster.
So what can you do as a “PERSON OF PREPARATION” to win over, or at least come to a reasonable compromise, with those people that mean a lot to you that you desire to rescue and help should chaos befall all of you? Until a disaster or calamity actually occurs there is no real way to prove to the die hard skeptic that anything is really going to happen, of course until it is too late. There are many approaches that someone can use to help convince family members that preparation for hard times is a good idea, well worth the effort for all.
Discussion. Strong disagreements on any issue usually brings about loud voices, put downs, anger, and other negativity. Calm voices is an excellent starting point to anyone talking over hot button issues. Respect of each other’s views is essential even when both parties disagree bitterly. Willingness to actually “listen” to both sides of preparing and not being concerned about planning for the future, needs to be talked about fully. Explaining why exactly you feel it is so necessary to prepare, and have strong definable points like, “why does the family even bother to purchase insurance?” is a must.
Compromising. In almost every family and relationship there has to be a give and take on both sides. Even if someone or the whole family thinks you are crazy and gangs up on you on why in the world would you want to store up supplies and prepare, still remember you have rights. Even if perceived by others as some sort of eccentric hobby (preparing for the possible future), other family members should allow you to pursue your interests. The survival minded person should also be willing to not overwhelm those around them that don’t believe prepping is needed by wanting to fill most rooms of the house from floor to ceiling with enough supplies to last 15 years. Reasonable TRADE-OFFS that are less radical on both sides often work well because both parties feel that they got something out of the done deal.
Manipulation. Sometimes individuals won’t budge and will not give into ANY storage of food and supplies. This might require different methods of obtaining what your family needs in the future to survive. Guilt trips can be effective like, “how can you allow your family to go without and suffer if something does happen?” Buying extra food and other items with the perceived notion that you are trying to save money by purchasing a lot now at lower prices before inflation hits can convince someone that this is a good idea. This is a good idea anyway. Get into camping and roughing it type experiences in which you can purchase all sorts of items geared towards survival, but under the perception to everyone else that it is supplies for comfort on the getaways to the great outdoors. MRE’s, long term ready to eat meals are sold just the same for camping as survival.
Show them. Too many people have no idea what it is like to go without food, water, and life’s essentials and conveniences because it has never happened to them. Now, driving out with the whole family to the middle of nowhere and then hiding the car keys and taking the batteries out of the cell phones to prove your point on preparedness may be too harsh, but there are other ways of showing those around you how important it is to be prepared. An agreement, an experiment, with family members to actually go without electricity, water, and communications for 24 hours or more should put over your point well when they have gone through this. Sharing what food is left in the house for a couple of days or more, no grocery shopping or going somewhere else to eat would really show others around you how essential a well stocked or overflowing pantry of food is to have at all times. Show them how terrible it is to be without.
Living examples. All over the place, practically every country, are people that gone through some awful experiences because they have not prepared. Your family may feel your “obsession” with being ready for disasters is ridiculous and laugh at you and make fun of your ideas to protect them. Let them talk with “real” life survivors of disasters on how much they totally regret NOT preparing. Have these individuals talk about when SHTF for them and how awful it was not to have any food or how 5 people actually had to ration off a box of crackers, a can of chili, 2 bananas, and an apple for a week. Other people can sometimes have much more influence on your family than you could.
Do it yourself. When all else fails, all the reasoning, pleading, fighting and arguments, doesn’t work then you simply have to be the one that plans and prepares for you and your family. The main objective here is NOT to be discouraged and let others’ failure to have insight doom you and your family to what so many others will suffer from, being totally ill-prepared for some catastrophe that could and will likely eventually hit. By you having supplies and food there for emergencies, WHEN something minor occurs like a blackout for a few hours you can gain much respect when your little generator provides the light to see, the power for the TV and computer, refrigerator, and others. One other bit of advice is to find people that prep and think like you do, as they can help you get ready and give you valuable advice. Besides this, if you are all alone in your belief in being prepared within your own family, it is sure nice to associate with and have friends that share the way you feel.
You as a prepper (and a ‘get ready’ and ‘be prepared’ type of person) have what so much of the population lacks, the willingness to not just lay down in a helpless state when something happens that greatly disrupts everyone’s “normal” routines of their lives or puts everyone into life threatening situations. You are going to be ready for it, and the people around you are going to be so grateful that they had not discouraged you enough to stop you from preparing and prepping that inescapably saved their backsides.
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@BI; Yeah…yup, yup, yup. Just finished that exact conversation with the missus as I returned from the warehouse club. How much of that stuff do you need???????? (whiney, shrill voice) If it’s just you and me and the end of the world, I would rather die. (I offered to speed up the process for her but she didn’t think it was funny. Ahrr, ahrr, I did!) WE have one of these every 6 mos or so. It’s like the explanation “wears off” and needs to be refreshed every so often. Once I explain it AGAIN, it’s “okay, well, yeah, I understand” blah, blah, blah. Yes, the hardest thing to deal with is recalcitrant family. At least she isn’t openly hostile or derogatory about it. My buddy’s wife is that way too, “what are you ever going to do with that stuff” (in the identical, whiney, shrill voice). But she tolerates it and doesn’t say too much about it. They will whine after TSHTF but it won’t be about the food and stuff, it’ll be about “why didn’t you stock up more”? If a woman is talking in the woods, and there isn’t anyone around, IS SHE STILL COMPLAINING? Just a joke ladies, just a joke. Survive well. Enjoy.
Good post BI. Seems the guys are more in tune with the REAL news and the gals don’t want to know. Your buying ‘stuff’ is forcing her to take a peek at what’s really going on in the world and, like my wife, they don’t want to hear it. Making a plan ahead of time like you are saying here goes far to keeping peace in the home. What will disrupt that peace is when guys keep adding to the originally agreed to items and wifey see all this other ‘stuff’ coming to the house. Do as much yourself as you can to avoid added costs and show your spouse how dedicated and serious you are about your conviction. That always get their curiosity going. Better curiosity than animosity.
Oh boy… This just describes what I’m doing at the moment… I think I’ve tried all and every trick and manipulated pleading in the book over the last months! And it all boils down to me getting on with it quietly and hoping he would eventually come round to my way of thinking… Which hubby has to a degree… Depending on what it is I’m buying.
I think that this new year showed him exactly what I was up against when my siblings decided (after finding my meagre preps) that they didn’t need to and would come to our house if anything happened. We were chatting about it yesterday day and he actually said, those are OUR preps to feed us if everything goes arse upwards! Woo! Who is this man and where is my husband? Lol
Monday is prep shopping day and he’s decided that he’s coming with me. I don’t know if he will help or hinder, but I’m not going to tell him he can’t come with me… He is ex-military and might think of something or see something I haven’t…
I haven’t got a clue how to tackle my parents and siblings… I’ve tried and they just don’t get it and will not get even a weeks supply in… I think this might have to be a new year resolution… Tackle the family… Literally.
@Damkina; As in the last book of “The Chronicles of Narnia” you sound like a “dem fine lady”. If you can use your womanly wiles on your husband, and there’s nothing wrong with persuasion, even if it’s unfair, you can get him to do what you want, mostly. Especially if he thinks it’s HIS idea. There’s an old joke, not to be off color, but it is mild enough in today’s climate, so here it is. A guy picks up his date, she tells him she’s a witch as they drive down the road, and he says “prove it turn me into something”, she rubs her hand up and down his leg and poof, he turns in to a motel (inn), ha ha. Yeah that’s pretty bad but anyway it makes my point. I think getting your husband on board, especially after the “those are our preps” comment, he’s mostly on board, he just doesn’t know it yet. Give him a MANLY project related to your preps, not something huge, just something that lets you use his ego against him (in a good way) to get him involved. The last thing a man wants, is to be wrong, and once he’s in, he’s in come hell or high water, because he will not be proved wrong. Am I right? So find a project for him before you go “prepping” on Monday and expect him to be MANLY in his assessment of your tasking, and to take it on full bore. That’s all I’m allowed to say under the MAN rules and I may/could be kicked out of the club for helping you like that, but good luck and keep us updated on Monday, after your prepping trip. Survive well. Enjoy.
Ha ha ha!
Also in the same boat. The hubby is military and he is mildly into the preppin thing now…which of course makes me feel like a nut and all out consumed, lol. He is more than ok to buy guns, ammo, and gun acccessories. And I’m wanting to take on a more rounded out approach getting water, food, shelter, medical, etc. and weapons. And we also argue about the scale factor. Are we preppin for a few weeks without a normally functioning economy, or are we preppin for a year or more.
But I’m also not having much luck getting the rest of the family on board, especially the women. I don’t know if they just don’t want to talk about something unpleasant, or if they just have faith the if something bad happens, the govt will provide. But it is so frustrating!
But I like this post by ‘Be informed’!!! Any ideas I can get for opening their eyes are most appreciated! Because when, not if, some event happens, it won’t be a simple, “I told you to stock up Aunt Robin.” It could cost them their lives!
@MamaB; Well, you can’t MAKE them prep. It doesn’t matter what you do, they will not, mostly, believe that anything is wrong. The vast majority of people are of the thought, that if anything is THAT bad, “they don’t want to live”. AND, their defense mechanism, is to ignore it and pretend that it doesn’t exist. Now, to you and me, that doesn’t make any sense, it’s stupid. The women are the GUARDIANS of the family, which is why they are sooo hard to convert. However, if you ever convert one, she’s in. One thing I know about women, when they’re committed to something, they are committed (learned that on the interstate, another story, come back and ask some time). Figure out which one is the most convertible, then subtly (SUBTLY, that’s subtly) lean on her with EASILY verifiable facts in everyday news. This may take some time. The more obtuse the information is, the harder it is for them to LOCK on to it. If it’s something they see on HNN’s “Robin in the Morning” or ABC’s AM America etc. use that topic to co-opt her…”hey did yo see that thing on….. this morning”. One day, one of them will say, “hey, can you explain that FEMA 3 day supply thing to me”? Or something like that. You know it’s that old, “you can’t lead a horse to water, blah, blah, blah”. But, you can walk them by it every so often and eventually, they will get the idea on their own. Once you’ve got’em, school’em, but not tooooo fast, you don’t want to run them off. After one is in, the rest will come, eventually, they’re girls, they don’t want to be out of the loop. Use the MAN info above for hubby and what else I’ve said and that is the BEST you can do. If that doesn’t get them, then they’re not “gettable”. You have to move on past that. Yeah, I know that, that is sad, but it is the TRUTH. Survive well. Enjoy.
My wife gave me the, “I’d rather be dead than live like that” ultimatum. Telling her it will make it harder for me to raise our daughter right and that we will both miss her terribly, turned her on a dime.
There are times a good fight might be nice or at least better than just being ignored. No interest equals no training. If it happens I just hope they will be able to get home and I’m alive to show them how to use all this crap! DaaSwampman
A great article… Good Luck.
I am cynical in trying to convert some people. I no longer try to convert my brothers and sisters anymore.
My wife is on board with the stuff I buy for prepping and she realizes it may be due to my living off grid for a while. We have now been through enough earthquakes, wildfires and a couple “civil disturbances” together that she no longer argues with most of my prep decisions.
My brothers and sisters have always come to me about advise for camping, first aid, hunting and fishing. At times, they have called me for help. Prepping is their personal decision and they are on their own because I am usually working. This is especially true considering we live far away from each other. They now know that I am at least 2 days drive away from them ASSUMING I were to drop everything and go. What do we know about the word: “ASSUME?”
I am the youngest so there is the real tendency to not listen to me either. The last time I told my brother anything that made a big impression on him was when he woke up from a triple bypass coronary artery surgery. In his post-surgical haze, I told him he BETTER get well and he WILL begin to take better care of himself because I cannot afford to carry his _ss or care for his family if he dies. This was the kind of tough-love speech that the nurses are not allowed to give at the bedside. I knew he was listening because I saw the look in his eyes and the ribbon on the heart monitor reflected it. 5+ years later, he is eating vegetables, exercising and he cut out drinking and drugs. Fear of dying or meeting God is a good motivator. Sometimes it is the only one you have.
Survive well to you all. I did not mean to go all negative on you.
@TripodXL
Thank you for the complement, much appreciated, and you sound like a real Gentleman. Lol I like joke… I’ll have to remember that one!
@All
Well, I hope I’ve played by the MANLY rules today, as he’s now offered to put a garage shelving unit together. YAY! We have a very damp cellar that will not keep dry all year, so that shelves are going to be down there with just the water bottles on them. I can’t think of what else can be kept down there safely without getting ruined. We also bought:-
35litre sturdy stacker boxes (his idea to keep things neat and labled).
As more food, underwear and toiletries were going in the trolley he was nearly having kittens with the look on his face… But he never said to put anything back until I put the salt in!! Oh dear… He lost it a bit. And I quote… “Do you REALLY need all that salt? We’ve got more f*****g salt than what’s floating round in the Atlantic!” and called me a clectomaniac!
It’s a 10kg bag… I think he’s exaggerating slightly.
To detress, we went out to lunch, where We had a long chat and he actually admitted that he completely understood why I was prepping, but he just couldn’t see everything getting as bad as that. He then added a bit later… WE are better prepared than most, though, and it’s nice to have some back up! I think I should write a book about this prepping life we’re going through…
“Becoming A Prepper – Even Though He Doesnt Know It”
@Damkina; That’s funnnneeee!!! Yeah, just compliment him every so often and he’ll be your knight for you. Although, I wouldn’t call him Sir, as it might go to his head. Just be even keeled and talk things out with him, cause men love to be in on the “mission”. It’s a shame that it isn’t just promoted by the (as much as I hate to even say this), the government as a public service. You know, part of the public ethos, of being prepared like the Boy Scouts (started in GB). Even the FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) recommendations are only a few days of preps. It’s just the mindset of westernIZED societies to think that the gubment will always be there to bail them out. Hope all stays well as you sound like real lady and he, a lucky man. Survive well. Enjoy.
That could even be a kleptomaniac! Darn iPad… It’s got it’s own way of spelling things, even though he said he meant “hoarder” lol
Heck I’ve got 10kg of salt in 1, 5 gallon bucket. And I have a LOT of 5 gal. buckets…
My wife is not a prepper, but everyone time I build another shelf in the pantry, she thinks it has to be filled. lol.