Don’t be a Victim – Be Confident
June 18, 2011, Submitted by: Ken Tweet
Want to minimize the odds of becoming a victim of robbery or assault, while out in public? Just remember these two words, ‘be confident’.
A would-be attacker, robber, or assailant will most always look for easy prey. Just as the weakest of the herd in the animal kingdom typically fall first to a hungry predator, so too will a similarly apparent human become the likely victim of crime before that of a stronger opponent.
Particularly true for women, who themselves are not usually as physically strong as most men, a few simple practiced traits could potentially discourage a lurking attacker.
So, what is the secret?
Appear, and be, confident while you are out in public. Walk with purpose, direction, and intent. Know where you are going, walk tall, shoulders back, confident strides, and use your eyes to look out straight and around, piercing, slightly suspicious – rather than looking down.
This alone, will influence most potential attackers to take pause, allowing you to pass through their zone. You see, those that are looking for an easy robbery, or victim, will purposely choose someone whom they feel will offer the least resistance and the easiest means of escape after-the-fact. It’s common sense, really.
Sure, there will be the exception to the rule, but to beat the odds, the appearance of confidence is the simplest and most effective means to stay safe.
Here’s another clue… be observant and take appropriate action.
Example… You are walking directly towards a destination down the street, say, 2 intersections away. While you are looking ahead, beyond what is directly in front of you, you notice a group of questionable characters hanging out near the sidewalk beyond the next street intersection. Even though your destination is on the same side of the street, you cross over to the other side of the street at the corner, and proceed in the same direction, and cross back over later – all the while looking perfectly purposed as though it was your intention all along. You avoid a potential confrontation, and you still make it to your destination.
Example… You are walking to your vehicle which is parked in a mall parking lot or parking garage (any scenario is valid). Instead of fumbling for your keys after you’ve arrived at the vehicle, have your keys in hand while walking towards your vehicle – able to make a quick and efficient entry. Better yet, keep a small pepper-spray canister attached to your key chain and use it as the grasp in your hand – all the while at the ready. A whistle on the key-chain is a good deterrent too.
Without getting into the scenarios of self-defense, the key is to avoid any confrontation in the first place. Appearing and being confident, and using your eyes and common sense, will often be all that you need to avoid becoming a victim.
Practice it!
If you enjoyed this, or topics of preparedness or current events risk awareness, consider our survival blog RSS feed, new posts by E-mail, or bookmark us at Modern Survival Blog
This is exactly the advice I give to people around me to look like you are going to not be an easy target to anyone. It is almost like the rooster strut that just shows of confidence. Those that cannot walk and behave this way I would recommend that do like many animals that are afraid of being eaten by a predator and become part of the crowd. Many fish will congregate into a tight mass and swim together to avoid being attacked. It is those straggling behind and away from the main group that are usually eaten.
In some “wonderful” areas of the United States and other parts of the world people are not even allowed to carry anything to defend themselves, not even pepper spray. What a way to support the criminal element by taking away some potential victim’s means of saving themselves. The stupidity of this is beyond infuriating. The good old ball point pen can still be carried anywhere and used as a weapon to defend yourself and not get in trouble with the law. Aim for the eyes of the attacker if there is no other way of escape. The ball point pen is not an excellent defense, but it is better than absolutely nothing if the law system of where you live supports the criminal and not the poor victim defending themselves. The best defense of course is avoidance of a problem in the first place like the above advice states.
I am a 30 yr old female and have been a victim of crime my entire life. I constantly attract predators. So at some point I became aware that there was obviously a pattern and something about me attracting them, it had gone way past the point where it could be coincidental. So for the past 3 or so years I have tried like hell to break this cycle. I know that I definitely look down a lot when I’m walking. I find it next to impossible to make eye contact with people. However, I do avoid people like the plague, and walk as far around people as possible. But still, I must look like I have an enormous target on my back because it happens to me nonstop. It’s unreal. I want so badly for this to end.
What is apparently happening, is your mindset is actually ‘visible’ to others (in this case, the criminal). How about this approach… you don’t have to look people in the eye, instead, just look beyond them (at the buildings, etc…), just so long as you are looking out straight and around you. Easier said than done, I’m sure… I hope your future puts a stop to this
@ Anon. I have to add something to what Ken said as a possible cause for some women. Believe it or not sometimes the very thing that women are wearing and lure these criminals into attacking someone. Many women are sometimes too alluring to the male that most of the time sees only below a woman’s head. Often very plain clothes can be the answer. There is also something about scent, many women wear certain purfumes that are really just enhanced sweet smelling sweat, pheromone like. Many of these criminal scum are just above chimpanzees and actually are extremely aroused by the smell of some poor woman victim.
If you are just a victim of random robbery and assault then one thing that works along with what Ken suggested is trying to look as big as possible, this could be high heels, clothes that are more flared out. Another idea is to try to never walk alone, try to always be with someone if possible. Or even consider moving to another location that is safer. Like what Ken said, I hope you will be able to be safe in the future. It is so awful to be afraid.
Re the legalities of self defence ? is it possible to carry a spray form of denco-rub, deep heat type ointment as a form of pepper spray? surely one cannot be prosecuted for keeping a first aide/health maintenance item on their person if it is used against someone only if they fear for their life?it is not carried for self defence- its for health reasons,muscle ache
? re the keys ready ,one of my aunties was attacked while walking home, she had her key ready in her hand luckily, and drove it up into the cheek of her attacker, this surprised him and allowed her to break free and get to safety (he didn’t expect a petite middle aged woman to put up such a fight).
@ anon – what courage it must take for you to venture and participate in the world when you have had repeated trauma. i congratulate your will to overcome your hardship and your determination to live well. Your confidence will grow,with the bravery you show in speaking about what you have endured, filtering through your spirit, as you are alive to talk about it- remember, you are a survivor- as you get stronger this victimization, must end for you. have you thought about a well planned researched,new start in a new area, not far from possible support bases? a strategic move is a very different thing from just running away to a new place that has no support and makes someone more vulnerable. sometimes to be removed from the constant reminders of a painful past event can be more beneficial than just standing your ground. the mindset you take and the preparations you make being a key difference from giving up or running away, or perhaps starting a local support group of other women survivors- strength in numbers in your local community,maybe while developing your power, having another person to go shopping with or go to self defence classes with may help you tap into your inner strength with a safety buffer of another person, who truly understands, being there. all the best in the future. lucy
Anon-
Have you tried wearing a say, cowboy hat or a ballcap? A lot of times you can have one on and look around and still not have people see your eyes ,or wear a pair of mirror sunglasses.
The only other thing is to have your boyfriend, brother, father, or male neighbor with you when out.
There has been some very good suggestions. I believe that first, you should follow the advice from Ken. This is the same advice they give to public speakers. If you look “past” the crowd, the less stress you will have.
I am concerned that you “avoid people like the plague”. By doing so, you may be making yourself a easy target. When in a crowd the offender does not have a unobstructed exit. “There is safety in numbers”. I know how hard this can be to overcome. I am bipoler with P.T.S.D..
If you must carry a purse, use one that has shoulder straps…not long ones. You want the purse to hang comfortably at your elbow. Always keep your hand on the strap. This tucks the purse firmly under your arm. It is easy to “snatch” a bag with long straps. If you do see someone that looks suspicious and you can not cross the street, place the purse on the “away side” of the person. Perhaps you can wear a small back pack or a fanny pack. Either are fashional these days, especially in big cities.
When you park your car, either in a parking lot or underground garage, try to park as close as you can to the entrance, or elevator. If you have to park in the same location every day, you may be watched by the theif until he knows your habits. Try to change things up. This will take some effort from you. Drive through the areas and study them until you know them well. If possible, park under a light. Check for a camera that covers the area you park in.
Some suggestions have been made concerning weapons. All are effective, but I must give caution. First you must stay as calm and collective as possible. You must survey your options. If you are totally alone and the attacker has a weapon, it may be better to hand over your purse. It can be replaced. If you feel that you need a weapon, pepper spray is good, but only as good as your aim. I suggest that you attatch some small item that will fit in the palm of your hand on the key chain. Kind of like a small handle. BEFORE you expose yourself, have your keys in your hand. Place the key protruding between you middle fingers and grasp them tight. This will be like a knife sticking between your fingers. If attacked, use the key to jab the face of the attacker. To do this, you must understand and be able to except that you will be hurting someone. He WILL hurt you. You must be prepared to take out an eye, drive the key deep into the ear, or under the jaw…not the throat. Under the jaw is a pressure point. After doing this, a good knee to the groin will take his will away. Press the panick button on your key fob, and then the unlock button. As soon as you are inside the car, lock the doors before starting the car. Call 911. If he happens to be in your line of traffic…well, remember this…”He jumped in front of me!”
Good luck