Being Around A Chronic Complainer Is Bad For Your Health
“The world has doesn’t care about you, me, or anyone else. It’s up to each and everyone of us to dictate our own path.”
That quote from a recent MSB comment says it all. It’s so true. I learned that lesson a very long time ago.
Interestingly, although the statement is very logical and common sensible, lots of people just don’t get it.
They apparently do not realize that to complain does no good whatsoever and will NOT change one’s position in life. Not at all. In fact, it will likely worsen one’s position in life!
What they don’t realize is that it’s up to the individual to take responsibility for one’s self and to make their own changes in life if that’s what they want to do. Others aren’t going to do it for them.
To “put up or shut up” so to speak… To take action or steps to resolve something that one dislikes or else stop complaining about it…
How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted
CHRONIC COMPLAINERS
We ALL complain about stuff once in awhile. Some a little bit more than others. But a chronic complainer does it just about all the time.
How many of you know or have known chronic complainers? Maybe a family member, a friend or acquaintance, or how about a co worker…
I’ve known quite a few of them throughout my life. I can tell you this (and you know what I’m talking about), even after just several minutes with one of them… I feel kinda drained, bummed out, and plain old yucky.
For those of you old enough to remember, do you recall that comedic skit they used to run on Saturday Night, “Debbie Downer”? Everything she said was a downer, a complaint, woe is me… (it’s a good example of what I’m talking about here).
By the way, I haven’t watched SNL in years due to their incredibly extreme one-directional political bias. Just saying…
I’m not sure what exactly causes someone to be a chronic complainer.
I suppose it might have to do with a number of things including a lack of confidence, the need to get people sympathizing with them, little motivation, being “needy”, or looking for attention, maybe laziness thrown in for good measure…
CHRONIC COMPLAINER
BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH AND WELL BEING
Not only is being a chronic complainer bad for the health and well being of the complainer, but it’s bad for YOUR health as a nearby bystander!
Have you heard of the saying, “Birds of a feather flock together”? In other words in this instance, misery loves company…
By associating with chronic complainers you will yourself be associated (by others) as part of that group. Do you want that bad reputation?
There’s no doubt in my mind that a chronic complainer will likely find themselves with health issues brought on by their mental attitude. I’m no doctor, but I’ll bet I’m right about that.
WHAT YOU CAN DO TO FIX IT
If you yourself happen to be a complainer, I’m not picking on you for the sake of being mean.
1. Come to the realization and accept that you are a chronic complainer. Admit it to yourself.
2. Look inward and try to discover WHY you are doing it.
3. Understand and KNOW that your complaining is hurting you and also affecting those around you.
4. Come to a belief that only YOU can change your outlook, your objectives, your lot in life. How? by taking action. By doing it yourself.
5. Do it. Get ‘er done. One issue at a time…
If you happen to have friends or acquaintances who are complainers, I’m not saying that you should shut them out completely. However…
1. Don’t coddle them or play in to their drama or negative issues. They feed off that…
2. Realize that you will not be able to change or help them with their issues. Only they can do that.
3. Distance yourself from them in a polite sort of way.
4. Understand that you will be judged by others partially based on who you hang around with.
5. Know that the chronic complainer will negatively affect your own life.
What do you think about this? Know any?
Also, from a preparedness standpoint you surely don’t want a chronic complainer in your group. If and when times get tough, that person will become an extreme problem…
I’ve noticed that most of the Debby downers are in the “Gimme Dat” crowd. They tend to blame their situation on everyone else.
I read a meme once that struck me funny…Only in America can one complain about welfare benefits on a $900 smart phone!
:) :) :)
I have to confess that I had a close friend that is a chronic complainer. I did distance myself for awhile, but then I remembered that when I needed help with child care once I a great while early on (because of my strange work hours), she was the one that offered to help. Not one single family member offered although I had helped them many times over. So, she complains about everything but would be the first person to step up, and she is hard working.
Does she know about us “prepping”? That is a big NO because she also tells everyone everything.
I keep her off balance with her complaining by asking how she would handle the issue and is her solution realistic. It is the same way I handled a chronic complainer in my office. I believe my friend is not as bad as she used to be so I like to think that perhaps I had a little influence on how she views things and she has improved her outlook.n she is also not Christian and that also comes into play often.
Tommyboy,my mom never said you’d met her.Yesturday the neighbour farted and she had to phone the noise police…have a good hair day..
Dunc
HA!
I got one to beat that,
I planted nasturtiums all over the place on my borders, bloom like crazy for part of the year, so moms house looks out over the green fields with borders of orange and yellow flowers, lots of em,
She said it hurts her eyes because she hates those awful fall colors!
Im feeling suicidal just thinking about it!,,,
Tom
I convinced two of my distant neighbors to plant small raised bed gardens to produce the wonderful vegetables I had shared with them in previous years. I also dedicated one of my planters to a person that wanted to learn about gardening. The results were a disaster.
They all planted their seeds with high expectations. and then went on with their summer fun, fishing, camping, partying, traveling, ….
When they returned, they found their gardens overrun with weeds and no vegetables – they blamed me. I had a few choice words for them under my breath.
Hermit,
Gave the people ive been working for about 6 flats of starts, all sorts of stuff,
Had to prod them to finally plant the stuff, then got to watch as it grew through no labor of theirs because it rained every afternoon for a few weeks, and then it went crazy, got overgrown, over run, and then ultimately died, then the Philipino gardeners cleaned it up again.
I guess it takes more than pointing a finger or talking on a cellphone to grow a garden,,,,,
These people are going to either starve or get extremely lucky if anything ever happens to the food supply. They certainly wont be eating because they are expert gardeners.
Hermit us
Whew…what a laugh just thinking what those two words were. still ROWL.
thank you…
Tommyboy,
Sorry, that that made me laugh. haha. :)
Best laugh I’ve had all day . Thanks TommyBoy
Re the nasturtiums
Every once in a while, I like to complain a little about my aches and pains. Not to the max, just venting a little about old age and what comes with it.
Some times it just feels good to complain a little and receive a little sympathy.
There is one person in my life, who, if I complain a little in their presence will always say, “I don’t wanna hear about it.” And then proceed to down my complaint and top it with one of theirs.
Needless to say, I no longer do my complaining in to that one.
I was going to complain about the arthritis in my legs and hips, then i realized i am lucky to have legs even if they hurt
Tommyboy I have the same thoughts. I had a bad motorcycle accident back in 1989, I broke every limb I had (in several places on 2 of them) I broke my left shoulder in 3-spots.
Not a day goes by that it doesn’t hurt a moderate amount.
But I think about what could have happened, I could have been killed or in a wheel chair for the rest of my life.
I feel very lucky to be able to do what I can do. I work (too much as it’s been busy for the last 2-years) a construction type of job. and I keep busy around the home.
Interestingly enough the more I get out and do things the less I hurt…
It’s all about your outlook on life.
I think it was Einstein that said “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”
Growl at a mirror and it growls back.
Smile at a mirror and it smiles back.
Life is like the mirror.
Hardly a day goes by that I don’t smile about something.
CF
It is odd that if you hit your thumb, your knees stop hurting. :)
I find my best remedy for physical and mental challenges is to move, work, play, …. this winter was bit too long so I suffered a bit getting back in shape.
Chuck,
I hear ya,
I know my physical discomfort is directly tied to my stress levels, also, when im working in the fields or around the homestead im much much less sore. State of mind eh,,,
😎👍🏻👍🏻
Chuck,
Forgot to mention,
I too find stuff to smile about even on the worst day,
Hmmm…. good point.
If you have pain, you know you are alive!
My response when people ask me “how are you today?” is to tell them I have no complaints!
I usually get a surprised or confused look. And then I say, no one would listen anyway!
luv ya’ll, Beach’n
‘Life and death are in the power of the tongue.” Proverbs 18:21
Makes sense to me. Choose life!
I don’t think I was ever a chronic complainer but I used to complain more than I was comfortable with- When you don’t even want to be around yourself it’s too much! The good news is you can change! It’s hard work, but if I can change anyone can!
Melissa, Yes, we can indeed change (with some effort ;) ). Thanks for pointing that out.
Once you become more tuned in to what you’re actually saying to others, your expression, attitude, it can be changeable.
Often others perceive us quite differently than we perceive ourselves!
Chronic complainers
Shall I introduce to you all, my ex.
Bad for your health. Most definitely.
I would crest the hill and see her vehicle in the driveway. “Damn it,” I would say to myself. “She made it home again”. My heart would pound and a sickening feeling. Especially if I was a few minutes late coming home..
Like Grandee stated, if you had a complaint, she.could beat you ten fold on the same type of complaint….. weird huh?
3.. Distance yourself from them in a polite sort of way.
Ummm divorce? Worked for me
Tommy. Good to see your back with us.👍😎
I have slowly learned that everything I complain about is something I should be grateful for.
My wife is annoying sometimes but she has not divorced me, she really is a good woman.
People at work are a real pain in the a$$ but I get a pay check every Friday and the bank cashes it.
My back hurts all the time but I am still able to get up and do whatever is needed. W
e live on a tight budget but our bills get paid.
Some times I need to be reminded what I have to be grateful for.
If you want to improve your outlook on life I have a challenge for you. Every day write down some thing you are grateful for with no repeats.
The first week will be easy, health, home family. But after a month or so you will run out of obvious things and have to find some thing new every day.
If you keep it up for a while it will become natural to be grateful. I thing I need to get out a pen and paper and start writing too.
car guy,
EXCELLENT COMMENT! I agree with you 100%. Thanks for that.
We all can easily find things to complain about. Heck, I do it more than I would like too. But turning the tables on that and looking for the good, is a helpful thing.
Philippians 4:8 “Think of the good”
Live with an attitude of Gratitude.
And remember, don’t let the perfect (which you have not attained) destroy the good (which you have). ‘Taint scripture but it is wisdom.
I refer to these people as psychological vampires. Some I have known do have some serious issues, l listen but it can really do a number on you mentally by the end of the conversation. Others just can’t seem to realize they have it all but continue to want more. These are the people I keep my distance from. My DH and I have become more hermit like the older we get and we couldn’t be much happier. Yes, we complain about getting older and the aches and pains associated with it, but then we also realize it’s a good pain because we are still able to maintain our homestead without help.
NWMitten, I really like your phrase “Psychological Vampires”. Fitting.
Also, I too find the bright side with ordinary ache’s and pains… it means I’ve worked, accomplished, and as a side effect have exercised as a result of whatever physical activity I was doing. Good for health!
My motto is if you don’t do it and use it, you loose it.
NWMitten, yes except I call them energy vampires. Basically the same thing. There are iced in negativity. Suicide is up 25% and will keep rising. Problem is material goods and status are not feeding our souls. The light weight Christianity preached in the churches is not fulfilling our spirit. Many/Most are walking around like “zombies” expecting something to happen, but not knowing what. Materialism has out whole being clouded. Change is coming. We will be awakened in the not so distant future.
Good thoughts, Carguy
My bitter old aunt use to complain about getting old. I reminded her of the alternative. She never brought that complaint up again.,
We went to the VA today. Always puts one back into perspective.
As I have mentioned before. Whack the whiners first. Three strikes Your OUT……………………….. or some duct tape?
“I’m not complaining, but………” and off they go.
A few others are:
I don’t want you to take this as a criticism, but .”………
I don’t want to sound judgemental, but………
These are all cover ups for complaining.
Stay frosty and don’t complain.
My favorite: “I love you, but…”
Ththththtt
Am I alone, when watching a “news contributor” on any of the cable news shows that prefaces their comment with “The fact is…”, knows that they are about to obfuscate or tell an outright lie?
1.) “The bathroom faucet drips a lot.”
Or
2.) “That cheap, crappy, piece of junk bathroom faucet drips water all the freaking time! #%@&%*$# can’t anything be quality made anymore (##&@%! #&@*# %$ and the horse it rode in on.”
Item 1.) A fact, item 2.) Complaining wrapped around a fact. I’ve done both well at times, especially the #%&$*# part. One day I hope to be mature.
Of course the bathroom faucet drips a lot, that’s what happens when you go to the home store and buy the lower priced faucets.
Good ones with re-build-able stems cost a lot more then the washer-less ones almost everyone buys because they think $140.00 and less is a lot f money to spend on them. $300.00 is not out of line for a good one that will last 20+ years
Sorry Handyman in me talking…..
Sometimes we just don’t have the money. But we shouldn’t be expecting the best if we are paying bottom dollar.
The article photo: having those eyes staring at me would kick in the flight mode, a few circuit seem crossed.🤤
Those eyes scream “Crazy.”
Chuck,
The Japanese call that Sanpaku (three whites), or when the white of the eyes is visible not only on either side of the pupil, but also above or below. They connect this condition to unstable or mentally ill folks. Check out the pictures of many of the school shooters. There may be something to their observations.
I still work on a psycho ward for my day job and I must say that “NWMitten” has won the prize for most descriptive explanation of the chronic complainer. It is a term that is in common usage among psych professionals. ( Psychological Vampires)
Some threads I use at work that may prevent these people from hijacking your conversation or group: Do not point out something is wrong unless you have a viable solution for said problem. Because the proposals will be tried. If the solution succeeds, you just made the unit a better place to live in. If the solution fails, you all live with the consequences. ( a locked psych unit is a closed system much like 4 hunters in a snowbound cabin in the woods.)
If you are going to sit and complain all shift, do not be surprised if I assign you to empty the trash and dirty linen every hour and other less-desirable jobs. Your sitting on your butt and talking trash will not be tolerated on my unit. We all have better things to do.
I have not watched SNL and am unfamiliar with Debby Downer and I am proud of that. SNL is guerrilla humor and is iconoclastic. It is very good at killing our sacred cows and pointing out how silly our society can be. SNL does not pretend to offer solutions on how to make improvements. Life is too short to be around people like that. When I point out shortcomings, it is usually because I am thinking of a way we could be doing something better or more efficiently.
Be constructive. Be innovative. Start by separating yourself from the losers. This is something to bring to your family or prepper group at the next gathering.
Snowflake 101
Hopefully we never graduate to Snowflake 210
– Don’t remember where I first heard this, but when asked how I am doing, my response is generally, “Well, I could complain, but Nobody would listen to me!” It generally gets a smile and a “yeah, I know,” kind of response. People generally seem a little bit happier when they walk away, or at least smile. It has worked for me for years.
Generally, the question is asked as an opening to a conversation rather than an actual invitation to listen to your various complaints, unless you are talking to a psychologist or psychiatrist, and generally they are being paid to listen to your complaints. One of the biggest smiles I have ever gotten was from a psychiatrist, now a friend, who commented that that was probably the healthiest response to that question that he had ever heard.
(And yes, by virtue of a previous job, I know half of the psychiatrists and psychologists in a fairly large town. All of them will talk to me If I should happen to run into them out in public.)
– Papa S.
When I’m asked how I’m feeling I’ll answer with either “Probably better than I deserve” or “If it was any better I couldn’t stand it, if it was any worse, I would break down and cry”.
Truth is, most folks don’t want to hear your problems, they’re just trying to be nice.