A Southern Home Security System

Old front porch

Here’s a picture of an old front porch. It doesn’t matter, old or not… What can we add to that front porch for some good old southern home security?

How To Install A Southern Home Security System

Southern Home Security | Step 1

Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14 – 16 men’s work boots.

Southern Home Security | Step 2

Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine.

Southern Home Security | Step 3

Put four GIANT dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

Southern Home Security | Step 4

Leave a note on your door that reads:


Me and Marcel, Donnie Ray and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour. Don’t mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don’t think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of ’em in the house. Better wait outside. Be right back.


Oh come on… you gotta admit that was pretty funny…

(re-posted for comic relief)