Toilet Paper – Everything You Wanted To Know

Best Toilet Paper Holder

Toilet paper is one of NRP’s favorite subjects to discuss and joke about here on MSB. I have been waiting for this day when he finally submitted a guest article about this topic. He is the resident expert on this. So, buckle in, here we go…

But first, a note about the image shown above, which is perhaps The Best Toilet Paper Holder ever. At least it is at NRP’s house! Hilarious!

Guest article, by ‘NRP’…

Ok; you all knew this Article was coming so stop rolling your eyes!


Toilet Paper Statistics

A few facts before we get into the fun stuff, and yes I’ll get into the Preparedness concerns in a bit.

First and Foremost; The average American uses nearly 21,000 sheets of toilet paper a year – roughly the length of 23 football fields; THAT’S per person, so approx. 6,720,000,000,000 or 6.72 Trillion sheets per year in the US alone. You see, my 600 rolls of recommended TP for preparedness is nothing.

Related: How Many Rolls Of TP Do You Use Every Week?


Toilet Paper History

The first recorded use of toilet paper was in 6th Century China. By the 14th Century, the Chinese government was mass-producing it. Ya gata LOVE the Chinese.

Packaged toilet paper wasn’t sold in the United States until 1857. Joseph Gayetty, the man who introduced packaged TP to the U.S., had his name printed on every sheet.

Global toilet paper demand consumes nearly 30,000 trees every day. That’s 10 million trees a year.

It wasn’t until 1935 that a manufacturer was able to promise “Splinter-Free Toilet Paper.” OUCH!!!!!

Seven percent of Americans admit to stealing rolls of toilet paper in hotels.

Historically, what you use to wipe depended on your income level. In the middle ages, they used something called a “gompf stick” which was just an actual stick used to scrape. Wealthy Romans used wool soaked in rose water and French royalty used lace.

Other things that were used before toilet paper include: Hay, corncobs, sticks, stones, sand, moss, hemp, wool, husks, fruit peels, ferns, sponges, seashells, and broken pottery.

70-75% of the world still doesn’t use toilet paper because it is too expensive or there is not sufficient plumbing. In many Western European countries, bidets are seen as more effective and preferable to toilet paper.

The reason it disintegrates so quickly when wet is that the fibers used to make it are very short.

There was a toilet paper museum in Wisconsin, The Madison Museum of Bathroom Tissue, but it closed in 2000. The museum once had over 3,000 rolls of TP from places all over the world, including The Guggenheim, Ellis Island, and Graceland.


Toilet Paper Tax

In 1996, President Clinton passed a “Toilet Paper Tax” of 6 cents per roll, which is still in effect today. FYI that’s ~ $26,880,000,000 in taxes in the past 20 years on TP!!!! Really America $26.88 BILLION on TP tax in 20 years?!!!!


Pull from the top OR Pull from the bottom?

If you hang your toilet paper so you can pull it from the bottom, you’re considered more intelligent than someone who pulls it from the top.

Correct rolling direction from the original TP patent:

And if you could only take certain neccesities to a desert island…

When asked what necessity they would bring to a desert island, 49% of people said toilet paper before food. HAHAHA, gata love those Desert Island People.


Uses For Toilet Paper

Ok, how about some uses?

Number Two – it had to be said
Number One – yep, that too

Facial tissue, removing make-up, covering razor nicks, as a Kleenex aka blowing yar nose

Cleaning up after your dog, WAIT!!! Train the dog to go OUTSIDE. Killing/cleaning up bugs

Wrapping (aka a house. Decorating the neighbor’s yard, car office.

Stuff your bra…Hummmm, is that not cheating?

Make a temporary bandage, ever have a bloody nose?

Make spit wads…if you’re a 12-year-old boy, that is. WHAT??? I still do that

Coffee filter, Firestarter when mixed with Vaseline

During Desert Storm, the U.S. Army used toilet paper to camouflage their tanks.

On the International Space Station, they still use regular toilet paper but it has to be sealed in special containers and compressed.

Ya ever grab the end of a roll and pull it hard expecting it to tear off and you end up with 6 feet of the stuff on the floor? I know I have HAHAHA, and don’t lie, you have too….


10 Most Popular Brands

Ok, how about most popular 10 Brands?

From Amazon, the largest Retailer in the world, as of this post date:

Angel Soft, 48 Double Rolls, (Pack of 4 with 12 rolls each)
Get it here…

Cottonelle Ultra ComfortCare, 36 Family Rolls

Scott 1000 Sheets Per Roll, 27 Rolls

Charmin Ultra Strong, Mega Roll, 24 Count

Cottonelle Clean Care Big Roll, 12 Count

Quilted Northern Ultra Plush, 24 Supreme (92+ Regular) Rolls

Cottonelle CleanCare Family Roll, 36 Rolls

Charmin Ultra Soft Double Roll Toilet Paper, 48 Count

Charmin Ultra Soft Toilet Paper, Bath Tissue, Mega Roll, 24 Count

Scott Tube-Free Toilet Paper, 48 Count

Most expensive; Renova 3 Ply Soft Colour Toilet Loo Bathroom Tissue Paper Rolls 6 Pack for $16.49 on Amazon. Really? $2.75 for a roll of TP, some people have wayyyy to much money.

AND for those political hacks out there;

Donald Trump Toilet Paper, Novelty Political Gag Gift (3 pack) $9.99

Barack Obama 8 Years Flushed Away Toilet Paper (3 Pack) $8.10

Hillary Clinton Toilet Paper, Novelty Political Gag Gift (3) $12.99
Get it here…

Can ya see where the country would be headed with Clinton as Pres? LOL

SO; that’s it for this old farts TP fun and info, except for a little commentary.

Those that follow this Blog much know I like to tease and joke quite a bit about TP, the reason I do this is to add a little humor into the preparing of what may come. If someone can laugh a little bit and remember to pick up a little extra of this and that when they laugh at seeing TP in the store (and think of MSB and all of Ken’s work convincing and showing people how to prepare for TSHTF), well then, that’s what it’s all about, being prepared for those little mishaps AND the Biggins when they hit, and they WILL hit sooner or later.

In 1973 Johnny Carson caused a toilet paper shortage. He said as a joke that there was a shortage, which there wasn’t, until everyone believed him and ran out to buy up the supply. It took three weeks for some stores to get more stock.

Are you ready for the ‘Great American TP Shortage’? Do you really want the Wife and Ladies of the house to run out of TP?



  1. NRP,
    You’ve really cleaned up with this article. Thanks.
    Speaking of splinters, post WWII, my uncle brought some TP home from Germany. Yes, it has splinters or small slivers of wood in it.

    1. Post war? Lol. I remeber 80′ in Poland , then under communism, when a roll of TP was a luxury, and it was full of splinters and pieces of newspapers or books. Kept us busy reading in no-smart-phones times 😉

  2. Wonderfully funny and unusually informative. NRP, you slay us! Great job.

  3. NRP
    Ya missed the John Wayne TP Joke. Its rough its tough and doesn’t take crap off of anyone. That being said I agree with not having the woman run out. I only have about 400 rolls though.

  4. I had to laugh when I read this. I have lived in the woods of Western Montana all of my life and I have through necessity at times used everything from leaves to snow. This is why I have case after case of TP. This is one luxury I refuse to live with out.

  5. TP with splinters? Ouch. Glad I didn’t live in those times. TP around here is the cheapest stuff I can find. I really don’t care if it is not as soft as the more expensive stuff. I want people that might raid our house to say, “heck no, I’m not taking that stuff”. Guests come and go and nobody steals our TP.

    1. Peanut Gallery
      Falling out of the chair ROLWL..poor hubby was trying to take a nap..

  6. Some time ago I was at Sam’s Club when I saw a guy, obviously a prepper, loading a flat cart with cases of TP. I mean loading it to the point he had to stand on his toes to put the last layer on. As I walked by, I quietly said “you do know they sell Imodium AD in the pharmacy, don’t you?”

    1. Hey Tom
      I wipe but do not medicate, so I have no idea what you just said. Was he rotund, well grounded, had a beard, grumbled a lot, .. then it was probably NRP. He raids other States for TP and is well known for cleaning out entire hotels after a stay. :)

      1. hermit us
        Ahhhhhh did I remember to take my memory enhancement meds this morning?

        Well Grounded? Me hahahaha obviously you have me mistaken for someone that’s mentally stable, AND I do NOT grumbqpjasdojiresad’s a lot, it’s just my speaking gets confused at times. :-)

        Lastly, I shaved my beard off once, it scared the HELL out of Blue.. LOLOL

        1. Years ago I went with a guy that had a beard. Showed up one day without it and with all my foot in mouth issues I said something like ‘OMG put it back on’.

  7. Okay so I’m not that intelligent according to the toilet paper Psychiatrists, but my proof of the right way to roll the roll is – when patterns, jokes, philosophy, trivia, … are printed on TP, it is on the outside so you have to roll it from the top to read. So there. :)

  8. I put mine up so it comes over the top, but hey– the important thing is that is comes off—

  9. When I first started storing TP, Angel Soft was bought on sale at DG for $9 a double roll of 24.
    That price is history. I haven’t seen that price in years–and the DG Angel Soft now on sale each month is NOT the double roll I have.
    My supply has been cut in half (I had 6 1/2 years and now have 3) so I should go to Sam’s Club, pay the $45 member fee and buy TP, napkins, paper towels, paper cups, and paper plates. I shop around and Sam’s is the only place to get a bargain on paper products as we don’t buy foam cups/plates and has anyone noticed that’s all that’s on the shelves now?????

    1. Oh, how do I know my supply was 6 1/2 years? Because at my house, with Gene gone daily a 24 roll pack lasts about 84 days.
      HOWEVER!!!! Since Angel Soft doesn’t make the roll thick with as many sheets like years ago, it may be a lot less days now!!!
      Wow, my l is capital.
      And my number 9 is not aligned with the lettering. Oh great, keyboard problems.

      1. JJ, you’re eating crackers at the keyboard again??? Turn that thing upside down and give it a tap-tap to get the crumbs out.

  10. NRP, nice work on the article! I don’t recall exactly but I think you were titled as the Grand Poobah of TP or something like that in previous posts. Definitely elevated lowly TP to an art form. Thanks! I’m not saying how many cases I have, but my DW smirks where we are in Sam’s knowing I always want to add one more…

  11. I’m an over the top gal, never have the roll coming down from the back. I’ve got such a thing about that that I’ve switched the roll around in hotel rooms or even someone else’s bathroom if it’s being unrolled the “wrong” way. It’s like seeing someone’s tag sticking out of the back of their shirt collar – it makes me crazy!

    Thanks, NRP for the giggles and TP trivia, and I’ll bet the regulars here think of you when adding another big pack or two of TP to the cart at sams or costco, I know I have! 👍

    1. Always rolled it the other way because toddlers and cats. I’d prefer not to have a whole roll on the floor under the toilet.

    2. Haha – me too, So Cal Gal – this OCD stuff is fun isn’t it? I’ve been known to straighten pictures on the walls of other people’s homes or even restaurants.

    3. I’ve never understood why people have it roll down from the front. The advantages of rolling down from the back are:
      1) It’s much easier to rip a piece off from the back with one hand only.
      2) It doesn’t tend to keep rolling when you take it from the back.
      3) If you accidentally bump the roll, it’s not likely to start cascading.
      4) It fits more compactly against the wall.

      1. Forgot to mention that a reasonable alternative to TP should the SHTF is large coffee filters. I experimented with them and they actually work fairly well. If you’re worried about rips or leaks, you could wear a rubber glove when using a filter. Also, they’re much cheaper than TP and take much less storage space.

  12. Love the article, after reading all the posts I know I don’t have enough in storage. Guess I’ll start adding a Costco case every month or so. I do want to mention there are many uses for the little rolls the stuff comes on; i.e. fold electric cords and use the rolls to keep them corralled and neat. You can also use a Sharpie to write what the cord goes to on the roll; collapse them to use to protect knife blades; give them to the young grand-kids to use as “to-do-do” trumpets; or grind them up in the shredder and feed them to your worms.

    1. If you make funny noises through the empty tube it will scare the heck out of the dog.

      1. Heck, I used to give them to my kids! We called them derr-derr’s. Cause, you make a sound through the tube sounding like a trumpet – de -de- derrrr !
        Loads of fun! And my dogs loves them too! :D
        luv ya’ll, Beach’n

    2. preparednana
      That’s my next ‘funny’ article; things to do with the TP cardboard tube.
      What the heck, tis always fun to get people thinking more about preparing in way’s they have not thought of….

      1. I fill them with lint from the wash and use them to help me start fires in the fireplace or when camping. They also work well without the lint.

    3. I have long hair; all my hair holders(bands) are kept around the cardboard tubes…by colors.

    4. I use them as collars for the garden plants in the spring, and they make perfect starter pots.

  13. Great article, NRP. I learned some more ‘fun facts’ about TP. I’ve also learned that I’m not that intelligent because I set the rolls to come off the top, too.

    Honestly, I’d love to know the economic details of price-per-square-inch of the main brands of TP. I use the Costco brand because it SEEMS to be the best price. We can’t use Quilted Northern because it’s so think that it has clogged our toilets a few times. I will occasionally buy top brands but only if I have a decent coupon — but I always wonder about whether or not it’s a deal. Never bothered to compute the actual cost figures for the various brands, though. Maybe someone else has and could share?

    We are up to 480 rolls stacked downstairs. My goal, now that I restacked and took off a bunch of empty Mason jar boxes, is to take it to the ceiling. That’ll put us over 600 rolls, easily. Then I can rest….lol

    Thanks for the great read, NRP.

    1. Same here, is easier to deal with too, those big bales of TP stack real nice in the closet

    2. Modern Throwback
      My oldest sister gave me this information AFTER her oldest grand daughter plug up the septic lines.
      They switched to the Kirkland brand because it breaks down easier than others, it is the best for those who have septic tanks and lines. Especially if you have grand daughters who use a 1/4 of roll of tp each time(darn near 1/4 of a roll).

      This information was passed on by the plumber after he discovered what caused the problem. Let me say my oldest sister was not a HAPPY camper with her grand daughter, who confessed to using wayyyy to much tp.

    3. Modern Throwback
      Dh said to tell you this.
      He has been known to dismantle those over grown TP holders, he made sure he left the roll open so the next person would have access and not fight for one single sheet of tp.
      Finally he started carrying his own into those bathrooms,,,the looks from other visitors to the loo was what the heck?? You can do that.

  14. Here in the islands toilet paper and rice are the first things that run out whenever theres an interruption of the supply line, EVERYTHING we use here, comes from somewhere else, other than the folks who grow all their own food who are few and far in between.
    I keep TP because theres no way in hell ill stand in line for a pack of TP when something goes awry,
    A few rolls of news print paper would go a long way in a pinch too, or a few cases of the big rolls of paper towels for public bathrooms, better than nothing!

    1. Nailbanger
      “I keep TP because there’s no way in hell I’ll stand in line for a pack of TP when something goes awry,”
      HAHAHA I love that, how true huh?
      I can just see it now, standing in a FEMA supply line, after 6 hours you finally get to the head of the line, “What can we do for you Sir” one replies, “3 rolls of toilet paper please”, “NO, you can only have 4 sheets” HAHAHA

      1. Phone books are here at the post office, along with advertisement adds and after a few months they give them away. I use them for fire starter, but could use them for butt wipe. I would have to build a out house, as I doubt the septic tank would digest it over time.

    2. I’d much rather fill the space held by old phone books and newspaper to store TP.

      1. I remember in years gone-by when farmer could hardly waited for their Monkey Wards and Sears Robuck catalogs so they could replentish there TP supply in the out house. That was before they went to glossy pages. Trekker Out

        1. sure miss those sears and wards catalogs. You could buy boat motors, rifles, and just about anything. Hell, I have a wards or sears 3030 lever action rifle. Its a Glenfield, built by Marlin. Too bad wards is out of business, I could have probably ordered a outhouse instead of building one!

  15. I can’t imaging going back to corn cobs and leaves.

    There’s enough information here to start an entire college course on TP. You could then get a degree in Tpology and become Tpologists. 

    Greatest invention since the discovery of fire and the fork.

    1. We could also establish a museum in his honor – we will call it the LOO.

  16. Cottonelle is the favorite brand in this suburban house.

  17. For those of us who are space challenged. there’s always (Wysi Wipe 500 Biodegradable Wipes and Travel Tube -For On the Go! Anytime! Just Add Water! TP in a tablet. who knew?

    1. Who Knows

      Well I’ll be darn, that’s a new one for me…. HAHAHA
      (Ken how about a Link? Thanks)

        1. I just put 2 boxes of Wysi Wipes in my shopping cart on Amazon. Will place the order, to add to the stash, after the first of the month. Since they are washable (for several washes) they should last a while and maybe are better than Kirkland Baby Wipes although they are washable too. Can take these in the Motor Home when traveling. Husband does not like it when I fill a couple bays with TP, but he won’t notice a couple boxes of this stuff. Unless one of you guys tell him to look.

        2. Ken
          Have you seen that new product out on the Market?????

          Called Dehydrated Water, only $13.95 for a #10 can on Amazon….. you think I’m kidding, check it out and read the description….

          Organic Dehydrated Water – Gluten Free – No MSG

          Tis just amazing, maybe hermit-us’s TP tree is possible?
          WELCOME to America HAHAHAHA

        3. NRP
          I haven’t seen that water storage solution but I do have a frustration solution kit for when you run out of TP. It comes on a pallet ready for some assembly and with a little mixing and stacking, you will have beautiful brick wall to bang your head against. You can declare the results as a pre-existing condition brought on by scented TP.

  18. Ken
    I am not rolling my eyes….but laughing my backside off at the subject matter, but the photo of all the tp sets in the article.
    Even dh started laughing an had not read the article only the title……

  19. Two toilet paper items to think about:

    1) Life is like a roll of toilet paper – the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.

    2) I’ve discovered ONE good reason for the paper to be mounted so it rolls from the bottom. When the damned cat wants to unroll it onto the floor, it won’t work when it’s mounted in this fashion.

  20. NRP, well done friend! We feel so relieved that you could finally do this article LOL! :)

    TP thoughts: how about those huge rolls in public restrooms that weigh 5 lbs or something, Those are the most difficult to get going. Think you have to shred 1/4 of the roll to get it unrolling well…someone needs to work on that…

    in the future I see the bidet thing taking off…

    Do you remember in the 70s and early 80s pastel colored TP to match your yellow, blue, pink,, or green bathroom?

    Here’s something…it goes along with TP, I think, is a “squatty” like a bench you put your feet up on when you go. We have one, it helps your lower GI tract be in a more ideal position, no kidding, helps your body synch with nature. Most people who do not have tp have an efficient squat method to make tp less necessary, just sayin ;)
    BTW, the make the squatty bench in a couple different heights, 7 inch and the “advanced squatter” at 9 inches high. We have the 9 inch one.
    Yep, the “squatty potty” is a best seller on Amazon.
    Let the good times ROLL!!!! :)

    1. Shepherdess

      When I think I’ve heard it all, along you come to broaden my horizons. But when you are 6’2″ you already have to “squatty” at many toilets.

    2. Shepherdess & ALL

      For your continuing enlightenment and curious minds, allow mw to present; “Squatty Potty” YES I said that right Squatty Potty, the absolutely critical addition to the restroom of your choice… HAHAHA

      Quote from Amazon;
      “Made in the USA! The Squatty Potty is a wonderful health aid for the entire family. The Squatty Potty helps you to eliminate faster and more complete by putting your body into a natural squatting position over your own toilet”

      Squatty Potty The Original Bathroom Toilet Stool

      Ohhhh and if you think people are crazy, get this; According to Greiner, Squatty Potty easily had the biggest sales after the night of airing in Shark Tank history, selling $1 million that first night and $3 million the first three weeks after airing. Really; for a foot stool? HAHAHA

      Gata LOVE America, next thing ya know someone will be selling rocks for pets….. FYI the inventor of Pet Rocks Dahl sold 1.5 million Pet Rocks for $4 each, and became a millionaire back in the mid-70s.

      1. NRP
        Those rocks were smarter than most of our elected representatives in Congress and the Senate. When you said stay, they obeyed. When you said roll down the hill, it obeyed. It would tell you when it was raining if it was outside. No special foods, medications, or litter box – it came with one at no extra cost. It served as a good weapon when inserted in a sling shot. I only wished I was smart enough to come up with that idea. Perhaps I will do more research on a self growing TP plant like Chia.

        1. Before any wise a$$ mentions it, I know it is called a tree, but mine would be soft and in sheets. Yes, I also know it is a roll of the top deficit mentality but some inventions start that way – a hair between brilliance and insanity.

        2. hermit us
          Can I borrow a roll of TP, I had to bite my lips so hard it’s bleeding profusely…. HAHAHA

          BTW, most TP made already is “soft and in sheets” not so sure what your using, butt dude, spend a dime on a roll and give it a try…. :-) :-)

  21. My goodness, my goodness what a good way to start the day. Although it’s a little disconserting to think of a bunch of “adults” laughing so hard they are crying over an article about TP. Not to mention the comments.

    1. Adults?! Just ’cause we’re old, don’t make us adults! :D luv ya’ll, Beach’n

  22. I think I’ve used just about everything there is for toilet paper too.In the 50’s we had to use it sparingly.Those slick,shiney catalog sheets were nasty to,when we ran out of T.P.Had to crunch them up,and roll them around in your hand a little to soften them up.Sometimes it would chafe anyway.If using leaves,make sure they’re not to small.Otherwise they get stuck.Newspaper wasn’t too bad,still had to roll it around a bit to soften it up.Even tore the sleeves off my sweatshirt one time,when out hunting.Worked good but got a little chilly after that.People are just spoiled now-a-days.I pull my T.P. off the top,and I got a 136 I.Q. Don’t know if that makes me smart or not,but I only have 250 rolls stacked up,so I guess I’m not too smart.I really need to stock up.

  23. You just do not get this level of information on any other sites. You thought that little room with a lock was a safe space and then along came NRP. No wonder the votes keep going up for MSB.

  24. Good job NRP! Great article on something we really take for granted that will always be there. It was quite a challenge when we were full time RV’ers to keep my toilet paper stash hidden. But I managed to keep a really good supply on hand. I will go without a lot of convieient stuff, but not TP! I too, like the Kirklands brand. Now that we are back home I can really up my reserves!

  25. NRP
    I have to tell you I have not laughed so hard in a LONG LONG time…thank you. Should be crushing the berries into seedless jam/jelly but this wayyy to enjoyable. Can’t stop reading the comments.
    OH, on the 1935 tp they should have named it: PIMA= pain in my a**.
    Dh said to remind everyone about the SCENTED TP,,whew it was bad. Who knew one could be allergic to it.

    1. ACDH
      Wondering how you found out you were allergic to the Scented TP??? HAHAHAHA
      On second though, maybe we DON’T want to know…. Ohhhh boy, there went the neighborhood. ROFL

        1. hermit us
          Dr. She did, I did, she did, I about coughed my lungs out…. HAHAHA
          END of that conversation.

      1. NRP
        Haven’t you ever heard of ‘scratch & sniff’???
        Remember you started it…rolwl…

        1. Antique Collector
          Now THAT really ‘smells’ my friend…. if ACDH heard you type that you’d be in deep ‘poop’… HAHAHA and I keep it on a ‘roll’ ohhhhhh I cant believe I let that one ‘slide’. :-) :-)

  26. On a side note I have it on good authority that line dancing was invented by women waiting to use the rest room.
    As for using leaves, as a young boy my brother & I went fishing. He had to take a dump and used leaves to wipe. Not being a Boy Scout he could NOT identify poison Ivy leaves. He was miserable for days.

    1. OldAlaskan
      And what’s with the long ‘Dancing lines’ anyways? I mean come-on Ladies, what takes so long? Get in, do yar thing and get out, I cant believe it takes 35-50 minutes to do yar thing…. :-) :-)

      And Ken though it was going to be a slow day…. HAHAHAHA

      1. I going to be trouble. Ladies keep going in and depositing money in the various dispensers expecting TP. Takes a while to figure out there is a gizmo under the smoked plastic cover needing the reach up system to get the paper. Sorry.

        1. hermit us
          Dog HOUSE for you…wait until your wife gets a look at your comment.

        2. Ya I got flogged but good, but I thought a payback was in order, as usually it is us men that are made to look like neanderthal dummies. I also know that the ladies on this site work like crazy and could take us men anytime.

  27. I forget if it was Ann Landers or Dear Abbey but just about the biggest response
    ever received from the advice column was to the question by a reader who wrote
    in to ask if the TP should come off the top or the bottom. There were so many
    replies the subject ran in the paper for several days. The answer from the advice
    columnist was off the top. Talk about heated comments. It was all very funny
    and I remember it to this day.

    The Wysi Wipe Biodegradable Wipes, although expensive, look like they can be
    used for many things and are now on my list. Thanks, Who Knows, for sharing.

    1. I doubt it was the same one, but I remember seeing that question once. The woman wrote in saying that her sister hung the toilet paper the wrong way and asking what to do about it, and the response was basically “She’s insane, stay away from her, keep your kids away from her, she’s going to snap.”

    2. I noticed this morning that Amazon was sold out. The Canadian Prepper has a YouTube on the Wysi Wipes

      1. I just ordered from Amazon, no problem And through Ken’s link of course.

  28. That. Was. Awesome……………………..hahahaha………. I truly needed that!!

  29. Has anyone noticed the TP rolls are getting narrower? Yep take a look at some old rolls, then some new ones. Happened about a year ago. Annoyed the pi$$ outta me! HaH ! No price drop either. Had to make a special trip to Big Lots to get the last of the wide rolls. Had to buy em all!

    1. I often notice these little tricks that mfgrs play on us.

      Nice big box, but lots of air space inside.

      Changing the quantity or amount of what you used to get, slight enough to not notice too much by the mainstream, but enough to boost profits by a few percent…


      With TP, they might say that there are “x” number of sheets on the roll, but in reality those sheets are so thin that you need twice as many!


    2. Gopher
      Here I thought it was my imagination on the size reduction. Nice to know I am not the only one who noticed that things were being reduced which were being sold now a days at the stores.

    3. Gopher
      I just figured my hands and tush were growing….. DON’T say it hermit-us your in enough poop as it is… HAHAHA

      1. Ya, I’m reduced to the status of the squirrels I hunt and now have to join them in finding outdoor accommodation. And if you say your hands are small I will not argue with you. :)

  30. NRP, Ken, and all who commented: I wish I could come up with half the stuff you all did! What a funny, funny subject. Thanks for the laughing-out-loud I am still doing!!!

    1. Pegasus
      Are you like me, it was so hilarious that I had to stop reading as my ribs hurt from so much laughter.
      Would take a break work on berries or washing dishes, then back to see what mischief this group came up with on NRP’S FAMOUS TP..

      1. Definitely! I revisited the title, and came up with a better one – “Everything you Wanted to Know about TP but Did Not Know You Wanted to Know!!”

  31. This is a serious question.
    If we have paid in 26.88 Billion in taxes…why, oh,,,,why are we in debt?
    Yes, it is over 20 year period, but shouldn’t that tax been used to pay off the debt. At least be paid towards the debt or am I thinking illogically here.
    Knowing it is DC an logic is not the norm there.

    1. Antique Collector
      Good question, and the short answer is this, the .gov is spending on average $27,762.94 every second, (bassed on the past 6 months) or if you like approx. $100MILLION every hour under Husain’s 8 years in office, Check out usdebtclock(dot)org $26.88 Billion is just a drop in the bottomless bucket of .gov

      1. NRP
        Thanks for the info.
        Here is what dh had to say..”it was spent on feel good projects”, and my reply to him was..”the Clinton s charity is not a feel good project no matter what they think or say”. He just smiled…

  32. The humor element is tempting to respond to, but the prospect of dealing with human sanitation is not to be lightly taken. If the greater part of the world doesn’t use TP perhaps we should learn how that is done.

  33. I’m late to the TP party…
    I see the over and under controversy is alive and well regarding TP roll placement.
    So…does the “paperwork ” get done with the right or the left hand?Is one superior over the other?
    Asking for a friend…

      1. Hermit us,
        That is a Consideration.
        Maybe bumping fist is the way to go…or elbows.
        Geez! NRP got us all going again!LOL!

  34. Just remember all, the Job’s not finished till the Paperwork is done….. :-)

    1. NRP

      No, all employees must wash their hands before returning to work. I notice on another site that there is an outbreak of fecal matter in burgers and other foods someplace in Europe. That’s one regulation I agree with.

  35. Sorry I’m a little behind (ba dum dum!) …I wanted to share a couple things with y’all:

    -anyone remember Seinfeld’s Elaine: “Can you spare a square?”

    -and Saturday Night Live’s MACHO WIPE???

    -NRP convinced me to go on amazon and buy a box of those huge rolls like you see in restaurants and the corresponding holder. Assuming it will last forever.

    -My dad had an aunt and uncle in the 30’s who alternated between corn cobs or pages of the Sears catalog, depending on supplies.

    -Has anyone had a problem with silverfish? My grandfather solved the silverfish issue with his books by storing all of his books in old refrigerators (his brother had an appliance store). He had EIGHT sheds full of refrigerators!!! (Insert crying/laughing emoji here) NRP, you need some fridges???


    1. Hey dude

      NRP will lay them down and use them for planters or leave them upright, paint them green and call them trees – you know his barren desert location.

      1. hermit us
        You think you Jest, gut out the inside, put in a couple of Grow Lights, a tray or two and poof, Instant Pot Fridge, Complete climate control with misters and cooling from the Grow Lamps heat, add an automatic fertilizer system and yar set for a good time in about 4-5 months…. Heck ya can even just set in the Kitchen and nobody would ever question it …… NOT that I would know of course… HAHAHA

        1. NRP
          NA, everyone knows the valuables are in the fridge, so, in your case they would be full of TP.

        2. NRP
          Aralia it is not…there is a big difference in the leaf.
          Yes, there are those of us who know the difference.

        3. NRP
          Not a consumer of said products..not good for one’s health imho

    2. Dude
      I’ve not heard anyone mention Silverfish for a long time, figured they were extinct. Good idea on the fridge though, drop in a mothball and poof, no more Silverfish problems. 8 Sheds full? Now that’s what I call prepared. LOLOL
      Thanks for the offer, but with the 4 freezers and 3 refrigerators I have I believe I’m good to go. Well of course one of the Fridges is actually a full sized Keg-ER-Ator / Gin Chiller :-)

  36. Just had to add what I was taught, according to my dad, over the top is the AARRMY way (Stripes LOL) , It could be just what he told us though. His reasoning, IF the paper was stuck at the top of the roll you could blow a puff of air and it would unroll to grab a sheet or two. He did the same with the paper towel so you didn’t get the whole roll wet when you went to get a sheet of paper when you dried your hands. I change the rolls to go over the top where ever I am, drives my family nuts.

  37. NRP,
    How do you store that much TP? How do you keep any critters out of it? I’ve read to store, put it in plastic bags, others I’ve seen say put it in totes. I’m wondering if I shouldn’t take the cardboard rolls out Or use tubeless TP and put a few rolls on dowels, flatten and vac pack them and store in totes.

  38. My mother was a depression era teenager. She use to buy extra TP even if she did not need it. My father use to tease her about her hording. My mother simply and quite promptly told him there is one thing in this world she refuses to do with out and that is TP. So stock up folks. The rolls are getting smaller and splinters are going to appear in the future product most likely. If you are one of the lucky ones with a huge pool of estrogen in the house you may want to buy it by the truck load.

  39. For years I’ve been using cloth napkins, and cloth paper towels. Recently purchased 200 rags to replace TP if needed. Plus the bucket soap etc like I was washing cloth diapers.

    6 cent tax per roll?!?!? OMG how on earth did that happen?? And where was the hue and cry over it at the time?

    Yes, I have a stash of the real deal but I live in a tiny home….there’s a limit to how much bulky stuffs I can keep around. ;)

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